One thought away...

I love the fact that God always uses the smallest things to grab my attention and teach me something new - when I actually open my ears and expect to hear from Him.

Tonight I was sitting on the bleachers in the Kensington gym during Rosedale youth group, wedged in between a 3-year-old boy bundled up in a big coat, sucking away at his thumb and cuddling close, and a 6-year-old girl who was intent on braiding my hair and making my earrings jingle. Pastor Matt was teaching, and of all the things he said, one sentence stuck out to me - We are all one thought away from returning to sin.

I think that struck me because I am becoming more and more aware of my own spiritual fragility - the fact that I am easily capable of sin I profess to abhor and hate and avoid. I know that I still cling to many attitudes and habits, especially in how I view and treat people, that is totally anti-God. And those habits are there because I don't guard my thoughts, realizing that every thought that I don't take captive to Christ will lead me away from Him - and every thought I turn towards Him will be cloaked in His glory. It's that old maxim - thoughts become attitudes, attitudes become habits, habits become lifestyles - or something like that order. It's the small steps, the tiny shuffles that may be almost imperceptible, that truly determine the direction of my life. And one by one, they build on each other - to what end?

I don't think however, that the knowledge of my own bent towards sinfulness should paralyze me and keep me from doing or thinking anything. On the contrary, I should run to Christ and cling to His cross, knowing it's the only thing that saves me and frees me. I have freedom in Christ, freedom to follow God and not be locked into a lifestyle of earning His favor, or being incapable of freedom from sin. But that freedom has to be inseparable from my knowledge of my complete, utter dependence on Christ for maintaining that freedom. What a paradox - what a Savior.

Lord, you are truly the only One who saves me.