Tis so sweet......

It's 3 AM and I cannot sleep. Not yet, despite a half dose of Advil PM and a glass of go-to-sleep tea and pure exhaustedness that makes my eyelids heavy. So here is some late-night rambling about what's going on in Whitney's world.

God has really been working on me lately, trying to help me identify when I fail to "walk in the Spirit" and start thinking with my sinful nature.

"16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."
- Galatians 5:16-26

Definition of walking by the Spirit: thoughts, attitudes, behaviors, habits that naturally breed and bring the following into my life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.

Definition of living by the sinful nature: anything that leads to/ends in immorality, etc, whatever is listed in verses 19-21.

It is amazing, when I start monitoring my thoughts and habits and patterns how dependent I am on my sinful nature. When you start asking "where is that coming from?", it's amazing that more times than not, it's coming from my sinful nature. And how often I don't do anything to combat it, I just let the thought fly and influence how I act towards people, what I think about them, what I say about them. How often my flesh has total, complete rein on my thoughts. The mind really is a battlefield.

But, this week, I have been working on letting go - and taking hold. Letting go of my right to do whatever I want with my mind; letting go of trying to plan things out according to how my flesh wants them. Taking hold of the promises of God, that he loved me enough to die for me in order to restore me to the glorious relationship he created me for. Taking hold of the righteousness he wants to clothe me in. Taking hold of the peace that he offers when I totally surrender my life to him and embrace his love.

It really is a simple, kindergarten-Christian lesson. But I also think that - it's one of those rock faces that look incredibly easy to climb, but a third of the way up, you realize it's inclining over your head and the grips are getting smaller and smaller and oh yeah, your spotter just decided to let go of the rope and get a drink or something.

But the peace - oh, tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take him at his word...just to know, thus sayeth the Lord. To know that you don't have to figure everything out in your life and answer all the hard questions at this moment, because God is there, with the pen, writing out your life story, if I'd only stop trying to wrench the pen from his hand; if I'd allow him to dictate my thoughts, my actions, my attitudes. To take my mind and transform my inner woman, changing her from an ugly old withered up bitter selfish woman and make her something beautiful, vibrant, alive.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.